Turkey is as turkey does.

Yesterday, I painted the bathroom for Thanksgiving. Not with leaves and pilgrim hats, but I repainted the wainscoting because I didn't want my guests to use a bathroom with anything short of the whitest white walls.

So today, here I am, polishing and spit-shining in between cooking side dishes. Because that is what Thanksgiving is all about, right? The least dusty lampshades and whitest bathroom walls. I need to step back and take stock. I've lost sight of something here...

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! From a real turkey.

34 Days and Counting...

The kids have been getting antsy about their visit from the "Big Man" on Xmas Eve. We've heard their hushed conversations about what to ask for, their chances of getting stockings full of coal, we've even shot down Maddie's sly plan to get herself a cell phone - Bypass Mom and Dad and just go straight to Santa (won't work because we'll just talk to Santa ourselves - as grownups, our wishes trump her wishes).

But I had a very interesting conversation with Parker last night regarding his belief in Santa. It wasn't so much that he didn't believe in him as much as it was that he didn't know if he could get behind him still, knowing what he knows.

The conversation went like this:
"Mom, you know Santa?"
"Yeah?"
"How fat is he?"
"Um..."
"Why does he smoke?"
"Wha-?"
"What if I was Santa?"
"What do you mean?"
"If I were Santa, I'd be a good one. Santa, I've heard in some stories, smokes a pipe. And he's fat, too. I can show you." Then he grabs a copy of 'Twas The Night Before Christmas and asks me to read it out loud. He nods and elbows me conspiratorially when I read the passages about him being plump, the bowl full of jelly reference and the smoke encircling his head like a wreath.
"See, Mom. He needs to be healthier. If he didn't smoke and eat so many cookies. If I were Santa, I would never smoke, Mom. But I probably would eat the cookies... But not ALL of them."
"Okay."
"I'm just worried about him."

I can now only imagine what our trip to visit Santa will be like this year. Maddie slipping Cingular ads into his pockets and Parker giving him a physical. Let's hope he doesn't have cavities, that could open a whole new can of worms.