Lightbulb Moment

I haven't blogged in nearly a year. Wow. Now I'm getting on here to post a bit of a rant, although it really isn't all that hateful. It's a more wistful rant, if you will. And perhaps this morning my anger is a bit misplaced, but what is getting the brunt of it this morning is my lamp. More importantly, the bulb in it.

I know it is totally un-PC, but I can't stand the new light bulbs. Now, before you come at me with your polar bears and Priuses, let me explain.

I knocked over my bedside lamp the other day and broke the last remaining round light bulb we had. So I went up to Home Depot and perused the aisle filled with swirly ice cream cone bulbs and found - soft white, fluorescent, white, direct sunlight, indirect sunlight, moonglow... What? I don't know? To be clear, I've bought them for the rest of the house, but I haven't been directly effected like this. I didn't realize how particular I was about my reading lamp light, but all of the sudden I couldn't make a decision. I just want one that I can wake up and read with at night when I can't sleep. I searched for the label: "Doesn't-make-you-squint-to-read-for-the-first-five-minutes-or-burn-out-your-retnas-on-contact".

I chose indirect sunlight. I figured for my beside table, let's give a thirty-something sister a hand, indirect is better for all involved.

Anyway, I got home, screwed it in (it took only one of me in case you are looking for a joke) and BAM! My room was glowing like a warehouse floor. The worst possible light I've ever seen - sort of a sickly green and dim. Gross. After a few minutes, it brightened up to a more fluorescent glow, to the point that Eric walked in and said, "Oh my god. What happened?"

I ran out to the garage hoping to find an old lamp with one of the old bulbs still in it. But to no avail. I did switch it out with another, less offensive bulb in the house. It works, as long as you let it warm up for you.

But secretly (not anymore) still I wistfully remember the days of those old GE bulbs that gave you the light you signed up for when you flicked the switch.

I know, I know... My grandkids will be thanking me. But in the meantime, will they hold up a flashlight for their old Grandma while she reads those first couple of pages until her light bulb works itself up to full force?